We're Taking Back our Attention From our Phones, Part 1

In this 3-part series I will be sharing three simple ways we can take back our attention from our phones and other smart devices. These technologies have evolved so quickly and with such a grip on our attention. Their power is tantalizing. The stories on the other end of each notification—addicting.

This technology evolves so quickly that we hardly ever get the chance to ask, "How do I want to relate to this?"

As a mindfulness teacher, I can't help but notice how much these devices are taking over our attention and leaving us distracted and split. They're certainly not helping our monkey minds settle.

But, it is possible to be in Right Relationship to our phones (and yes, it's a practice).

I hardly ever come out with such definitive statements, but I'll say this: If you want to be more present, you've got to take control over your relationship with your phone.

Where your attention goes, energy flows. Even a brief distraction of a notification coming through, splits our attention off from this moment.

Over time, we've become so inseparable to these devices that our attention hardly knows how to land right here.

Because just a click away, the next thought or impulse is entertained and given reassurance.

I find this to be problematic because it means we're losing connection to ourselves and our lives that are actually happening in front of us.

We're losing connection to our true home, our bodies—which is where we experience pleasure, notice small joys, empathize and connect with another human, and hear our own voice and intuitions.

I know you don't need convincing. We're well aware that our phones, social media, and AI pose challenges to living well. I write this series to share what's helped me, and to create a space for you to consider what Right Relationship with technology might look like for you. How do your values nudge you forward?

Technology isn't going anywhere. And in fact, I believe when we can take back our attention, we can harness the power of these devices so that the good of them outweighs the harm.

So let's get to it, why don't we...

Tip # 1 - Give your phone a simple place to rest at home

When I come home from the outside world, my phone goes on the phone dish. Because our phones hold a lot of power over our attention, it's a way to put that part of my attention to rest and shift it towards presence (because our attention is either here or there). It also alleviates the issue of "Where did I put my phone??".

When I need to use it, I go over to the phone dish, do what I need to do, then place it back in it's little home.

I am not exiling my phone away in a dungeon. I appreciate all the functions it serves. The dish is cute. It let's my phone know we are in Right Relationship.

I am simply creating a boundary between me and the device. I am taking control over the relationship.

It's kind of like rewinding things a bit and going back to the days of having a landline and desktop computer (yes, I am old enough to remember those days, thank God)—because our phone is now both of those things and more.

When I need to use it, I go to where the phone/computer lives, and I use it. This way, my use of these devices becomes more intentional, and I am less likely to find myself derailed down an instagram rabbit hole or planning my next trip to Switzerland (because my mom won't stop sending me videos about the trip she wants to go on 😆).

(Speaking of landlines, I'm not the only one on to this idea... There's a company called Coilie that's in the works of creating the modern landline for your phone.)

You may decide to have a couple of creative places for your phone throughout your home. I live in a studio apartment, so it's quite easy. One room, one phone dish.

Maybe you have a little cubby in the kitchen and a spot tucked away in your bedroom. Wherever you like to play music and unwind, there's also a spot for your phone. Maybe there's a room or two that are phone-free. You make the rules!

I personally like having my devices (laptop and iPad, included) away from my bed when sleeping. This gives me the space energetically I want from technology to rest more deeply. If I need to set my alarm or check the time, Siri is just a holler away.

As with most things living-intentionally, play with it and make it your own. There's also no need to be too strict with it and have the phone on the dish all the time to get the benefits. The act of creating this system alone communicates the intentionality and shifts the relationship. See where it takes you.

And have fun.